special London sexolympics report : 11

The Drunk Guy, Kobe Bryant Jr., the Nude Model, and the Other Two Guys Who Won Bronze: Meet the Five Men's High Jump Medalists by Justin Peters

The five medalists pose on the podium during the medal ceremony for the men's high jump on day 12 of the London 2012 Olympic Games.
Three men’s high jumpers shared the bronze medal this year, creating the most-crowded podium since the Duggar family went on that ill-conceived lecture tour. Canada’s Derek Drouin, Qatar’s Mutaz Essa Barshim, and Great Britain’s Robbie Grabarz all cleared 2.29 meters while tying with three total misses apiece at 2.32 meters. According to the AP, it’s the first three-way tie for a medal in the high jump since 1992. Before that, the previous tie came in 1908.

The fact that three fellows shared bronze might not be the weirdest thing about the men’s high jump podium. The gold medalist, Ivan Ukhov, somehow lost his uniform in the competition. Unpeturbed, the Russian pinned his number onto a T-shirt and jumped anyway.

Ukhov is best known for showing up to a 2008 competition tremendously drunk and making an ass of himself.

“There's no denying that Ivan was drunk but he had a fight with his girlfriend and was also upset at failing to qualify for the Olympics,” Ukhov’s manager explained afterward, adding that “Ivan regrets it very much.” Now, just four years later, the Russian has found Olympic glory. Come on, NBC—where’s Ivan Ukhov’s soft-focus feature? This is the greatest tale of redemption in the history of the modern Olympic Games.

But wait, that’s not all! Silver medalist Erik Kynard, an Ohio native who wore calf-high American flag socks while jumping, bears an uncanny resemblance to Kobe Bryant. “I tried to win the gold so I could let the world know my name is Erik Kynard Jr., not Kobe Jr.," he told The Plain Dealer. "Maybe they'll appreciate my silver and call me Erik now." Not likely!

Robbie Grabarz, one of the bronze medalists, posed nude in a gay men’s magazine after deciding he would “quite like a gay following.” He told the Guardian that his ideal breakfast consists of “healthy crap” covered in “thick lumps of cream. Proper milk. Straight from the udder.” Mutaz Essa Barshim is the only successful Qatari track athlete who is a native of that country. Most other notable Qatari tracksters were born elsewhere and paid to come over and switch nationalities. And I’m sure there’s something weird about Derek Drouin, too. (Email me if you know for sure: I’ll pay BIG BUCKS for dirt on Derek Drouin.)

Taken together, they’re the most delightful medal-ceremony spectacle since, well, earlier this year, when Ivan Ukhov took third place in the high jump at the world indoor championships. During that event’s medal ceremony, he stood in the second-place position, either by accident or in a clever attempt to sneak away with a silver medal. They eventually made him switch spots. (You can watch the whole thing unfold in this YouTube video, titled “Ivan Ukhov funny fail.”) In today's ceremony, Ukhov appears to have received his gold medal without incident, although I wouldn't be surprised if we hear later tonight that he's been hospitalized after trying to swallow it whole.

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Misty May-Treanor and Keri Walsh-Jennings are a match made in beach volleyball Heaven - and they prove it with another gold.

No one can tell if these athletic marriages will work, but this was has beautifully. They are Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, only in bikinis.

Misty May-Treanor (l.) and Kerri Walsh Jennings celebrate another gold medal with family Wednesday.

LONDON – Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh have a good deal of practice at these celebrations, and so they knew where to look, where to walk, exactly where to find their families in the stands, how to wrap the flag around their mostly-naked bodies and still treat it respectfully.
They knew how to speak graciously to the awaiting cameras after their third successive gold medal in beach volleyball.
Walsh’s two little kids, Joey and Sundance, were grabbed from the stands to enjoy the moment, or at least to become part of it. The two champions chatted, held hands, sang the anthem.
Right up until a wooden interview area literally collapsed from the weight of newspaper reporters — nobody was hurt, just stunned — this was the smoothest of their three gold medal victories.
And yet...
“I give us a B,” said Walsh, after the 21-16, 21-16 victory over Americans Jennifer Kessy and April Ross. “There’s better in us, but who cares?”

Nobody cares right now, because these two women have now won 60%  of all the beach volleyball titles ever awarded in the history of the Olympics.
They are one of those pairs of athletes born to play together, like Stockton and Malone, Tinker and Evers or Montana and Rice — only in bikinis.
The two women won this championship the same way they had captured all those other matches. The smaller May-Treanor dug and scrapped. She dinked winners creatively, brilliantly, with perfect placements. May-Treanor was the genius behind this duet, the architect and builder of points.
Walsh was the finisher, the killer, the spiker.
The match stayed even, with neither side able to hold serve very often, until 13-13 of the first set. Then Walsh tipped a winner, spiked a winner, tipped another winner during the next four points. The champs had their lead and would never give back the edge.

Prince Harry gets an up close look at the action on the sand.

Ross and Kessy served harder, struck the ball harder. They just weren’t as canny, or as tactical. In the end, Ross knocked a serve long at matchpoint.
“They squashed us,” Ross said. “They never let us back in.”
This was the dream USOC final, Americans vs. Americans, a can’t-lose event guaranteed to produce both gold and silver.
May-Treanor and Walsh had beaten Kessy and Ross in 11 of 13 previous meetings and had won 20 successive matches over three Olympics. Yet the outcome was somewhat in doubt, because May-Treanor and Walsh had been through so many life’s experiences, good and bad, since their last Olympic triumph in Beijing.
Walsh gave birth to her two kids. May-Treanor ruptured an Achilles tendon on “Dancing with the Stars,” and required a lengthy period of physical rehabilitation. The partners didn’t play together competitively for two years, then reunited with this precise conclusion in mind.
“The road was full of challenges,” Walsh said. “Adult challenges.”

David Beckham takes in the action with sons Cruz and Romeo.

There is an undeniable chemical bond between them, one comprised of genuine affection. As they stepped up to the medals podium, May-Treanor took Walsh aside and whispered to her.
“This is what we dreamed and now we lived it,” May-Treanor said she told Walsh. “We had this painting we envisioned and we finally finished it.”
They will go their separate ways now again, in all likelihood. May-Treanor turned 35 recently and says she’s done with the sport.
She wants to start a family with her husband, Matt Treanor of the Dodgers, and unclutter her house.

Walsh is about to have her 34th birthday and might just pick up a different partner, perhaps Ross.
These matters, these athletic marriages, are a delicate business. There is no way of knowing what will work, what won’t.
May-Treanor and Walsh always worked like clockwork, a match made on some heavenly beach.
“We set our expectations really high,” May-Treanor said. “We extended ourselves over the bar even higher. I want people to think of us as the best team there ever was. I want them to look at the video and say, ‘That’s how I want to play.’”

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Playing the Field: Is Kobe dating Stephanie Rice? ... Did you see Ryan Lochte-Michael Phelps sex tape?

Aussie hottie Stephanie Rice leaves Wednesday's Olympics hoops game after watching her native country lose (or after watching her boo Kobe win) ... ummm, you decide.

Some stories really do have legs.

Ever since ESPN ran a story about the Olympics being a glorified orgy — umm, why weren’t we invited again? — the rumor mill has been hot and heavy with potential super-athletic couplings. LeBron James reportedly asked swimmer Lauren Purdue out on a dinner date (and was turned down). Rebecca Soni and Ryan Berens are a gold-medal couple. And recently we’ve pondered the power couples that could be in this space, Hope Solo and Justin Gatlin anyone?

However, the most intriguing involves Kobe Bryant and Aussie hottie Stephanie Rice. You remember Rice, she first grabbed our attention on Twitter, not at the Olympic trials. But we digress. Rice and Bryant have been spotted together at a cycling event. Before that, Rice tweeted a shout out to the best hoops player in the world.
Look, we don’t want to get Kobe in any trouble here, we’re huge fans after all. Just saying that if this rumor — and that’s all it is — turns out to be true, then we look forward to toasting you with an oil can of Fosters and an extra "shrimp on the barbie."

Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps claim to be fierce competitors. Yet they never talk any trash on one another, and Phelps has owned the so-called rivalry to date — at least in the pool.

Lochte recently admitted to Piers Morgan that, outside the chlorine and in between the sheets, he has a decided advantage. Of course, without tangible evidence (like maybe a sex tape, you choir boys) then I guess we’ll never know for sure.

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Funny or Die: Olympic Trials with Kurt Angle 

Wrestling superstar and Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle tries out for the 2012 Olympic team sixteen years after winning the gold.

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London Olympics 2012 Best Funny Photos 

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After that very public kiss... Laura Trott and Jason Kenny admit 'We're a couple!'

Olympic champion Laura Trott took to Twitter today to tell the world she is in a relationship with team-mate and fellow gold medalist Jason Kenny.

Waking up to see pictures of the couple kissing in a number of newspapers Trott wrote: “So yes its out there me and @JasonKenny107 are dating. Been a little while now just didnt want the distraction before the games x.” 
Trott and Kenny — who has only just joined Twitter — came clean after they were pictured together at last night’s beach volleyball final at Horse Guards Parade.

Trott, 20, was earlier seen drinking beers and laughing with Prince Harry before she turned her attention to Kenny. The pair, who were sitting just behind David Beckham, later left holding hands. Trott today said that she and Kenny have been together for “a little while now” but did not want any distractions before the Games.

Last night, when asked if they were an item, Kenny — who won gold in both the team and individual sprint — replied: “These things are always very tricky after copious amounts of alcohol have been taken.” Trott, who won gold in the team pursuit and the omnium, looked embarrassed and they stopped holding hands.
An onlooker said: “It started with a lot of flirting when Laura was sitting right next to Prince Harry. But when Harry left and Becks came in they were all over each other. They were swigging beer and snogging — it was full-on.”

Trott’s father Adrian had reacted with some astonishment to the pictures of the couple today. Alerted by a friend on Twitter he wrote: “Oh dear! Oh dear!”

Asked this week whether she had a boyfriend, Trott had said: “I am seeing somebody yeah, he’s in the cycling team, but I’m not going to say who it is. It’s been pretty easy to be honest, all the team have been ok with it.”

Sarah Penn, managing director of company Outstanding Branding, saw Trott and Kenny, 24, taking the Tube on their way to the beach volleyball.

She said: “They were sitting at opposite sides of the carriage. They seemed very normal. She seemed quite embarrassed by all the attention.”

* That is a porno smooch!

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